Aging is a nuisance.  Once you get past fifty birthday candles, it’s not fun anymore.  In fact, for some folks, it’s a real pain – in the back, the hips, the knees, or other places too numerous to mention. 

    There’s not really a good alternative to aging. Even so, it’s not my favorite activity!  Getting old is a lonely business because nobody else can travel that journey with you.  Each of us has our own unique pathway to follow  – some long or short, hard or easy –  but we don’t face into the passage of time en masse.  We accompany Father Time one by one.

    Getting older is hard work, too.  Everything we do takes longer because we can’t move as fast as we used to.  The years seem to pile burdens on our shoulders as they whiz by.  Health problems arise. Strength and energy melt away.  Beauty, if we ever had any, fades into gray hair, wrinkles on the face and bags under the eyes.  Gradually, our bones soften and we get shorter than we used to be.  Inflation and the cost of our health care gobbles up our money at an alarming rate.  The younger generation seems to have no respect for our antiquity, and we feel helpless.  Carrying burdens like these is hard work, and nobody else can do it for us.

    Aging also means losses.  At first it may be the car keys, or the name of our best friend that we can’t remember.  Then, perhaps, our hearing or eyesight begins to fail and we feel as if we’ve lost touch with the world around us.  Beloved family members and friends die, and leave us behind. Things we took for granted, like a driver’s license and our own home, are taken from us, and we’ve lost our independence and privacy.  The best insurance plan in the world cannot restore to us all that we have lost.  No court of justice can return to us what time has stolen.

    But I’ve decided that I am not – like the old TV cowboy heroes – going to ride quietly into the sunset.  No indeed!  I’m going to fight old age tooth-and-nail (if I don’t lose them, too)!  I want to be around to organize a club of “Cheery Centenarians” or  “Happy Hundreds, and Counting”!  I’m already working on a strategy for surviving old age.  So far, it’s just a draft, but I figure I have about thirty more years to perfect it – give or take a decade or so! 

    So, here is the present version:

1. Laugh as much as you cry. 
2. Rejoice twice as much as you complain. 
3. Brush and floss your teeth every day as long as you have them. 
4. Join the RAK (Random Acts of Kindness) club and do something kind for someone every day (it’s more fun if you do it secretly!) 
5. Give up trying to lose – or gain – weight. 
6. Make a fashion statement by not coloring your gray hair or trying to hide your bald spot. 
7. Learn to love your wrinkles. 
8. Squash at least one rumor or piece of gossip every day. 
9. Quit wearing anything that is not comfortable. 
10. Obey your doctor’s orders and you’ll probably outlive him/her! 
11. Reminisce often, letting go of the hurts and holding onto the joys.
    
12. Do something silly at least once a week (but don’t hurt anybody, including yourself).
    
13. Take a walk all by yourself at least once a day. 
14. Kiss your children and grandchildren as often as possible, and tell them how much you love them. 
15. Every time you look in the mirror, tell yourself, “I like you, you old survivor!” 
16. Say “Thank You” at least a dozen times each day and smile at everybody, especially the grouchy people. 
17. Watch the news on TV from time to time and give thanks that, even if you’re blamed for the world’s problems, you’re too old to do much about them anymore. 
18. Learn a new joke or funny story each week. 
19. Pat yourself on the back as often as possible (mentally if you can’t physically get your arm back over your shoulder anymore!) 
20. Twice a day, every day – morning and evening – give yourself a great big hug. Wrap your arms around yourself and squeeze tight. (It’s good exercise for your shoulders and your self esteem!)

    That’s my list so far.  Do you have anything to add to my “Strategy for Surviving Old Age”?