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THE PERILS OF POTHOLES

The winter of 2009 - 2010 was a record-breaker, wasn’t it? There was more snow; snowstorms came more often; and thermometers recorded lower temperatures in more areas of the country than anyone anticipated. The season certainly set a new record on the misery index! So, when spring finally came, we breathed a national sigh of relief. Winter was finally over and we could get back to life as usual.

In the spring, however, on highways north, south, east and west, we are discovering the calling cards Old Man Winter had left behind: potholes! The record-breaking winter has created record amounts of cracked pavement, crumbling road surfaces, worn-down culverts, "iffy" bridges, yawning chuck holes, and many miles of rough and bumpy highways. We haven’t tried it, but some of those potholes look large enough to fish in!

We all know some of the problems potholes can create. They can cause tire and/or vehicle damage. A serious traffic accident can result if a driver loses control because of one of those hidden hazards. Potholes disturb travel naps, send unexpected stabs of pain to various parts of the human anatomy, and can result in sudden outbursts of profanity, among other inconveniences. Driving with ten wheels instead of just four, however, we’ve discovered a few new perils of potholes.

First, there is the risk of household chaos. This spring is the first time in our five years on the road that we’ve often had to put the household back together at our afternoon campground site. The silverware may have bounced out of its storage tray and fallen two or three shelves below. Occasionally there’s been a broken plate or dish. Often, several of the drawers slide open during our day’s travel.

The inside of the medicine cabinet becomes a potpourris of pills, toothpaste and band-aids! Everything on the top shelf of the closet has slid or fallen out of place. When I open the door to the book shelf, a Spanish-English dictionary, a Bible and Mark Twain’s War Prayer fall out on my head. (Most of our books are paperbacks, thank goodness!) Nearly everything that is not nailed down or wedged in tight has moved. It used to upset us. Now we just look at each other and laugh, "What a world-class collection of potholes we hit today!"

About a month ago we discovered a new pothole peril: run-ins with the law! Bruce had driven thru Indianapolis and commented on the extremely rough pavement of the interstate highway. Then we traded drivers at a rest stop on the east side of the city. I had just begun driving and I was trying to dodge the potholes and areas of broken up pavement.

Suddenly, I saw the flashing lights of a State Patrol car behind me. I pulled off onto the shoulder of the road as quickly as I safely could. I waited for the state trooper to approach my drivers’ window, and I waited and waited. I looked in my outside mirror and saw he was beckoning me to get out and come back to where he was standing between his patrol car and the back of our rig.

Bruce helped me dig my purse out from behind the seat, because I was sure that he would want to see my driver’s license. With a bit of fear and trembling, I walked back to talk with him.

He greeted me politely and then said, "I don’t know what was going on back there, but I saw you swerving the truck and rig back and forth and I thought I’d better check out what was happening."

"Oh, Officer," I replied, "I was just trying to dodge some of the chuckholes in the road. We’ve been traveling on some very rough roads today and I was trying to avoid any more bumping than necessary." (I thought it wise not to tell him that the highways of his state were the bumpiest we have traveled in years!)

He asked where we were from (as if he couldn’t read our license plate!), where we had stayed last night and where we were headed for tonight. I answered all his questions promptly and correctly. Then he asked to see my driver’s license, studied it a little bit, and handed it back to me. He apologized for having stopped me but said, "I felt I had to check and see if you might be an impaired driver."

To which I responded, "I may be an impaired driver, Officer, but it has nothing at all to do with any substances I have ingested!" On a more serious note, I went on to say, "I don’t mind being stopped. All of us on the road are safer because you are doing your job and checking out drivers you think may be a danger to others." Then he sent me on my way. What a relief to escape without ticket, fine or warning from this latest discovery of yet another peril of potholes!

2 Jun 2010 - mshr

 

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