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STUDYING SPANISH

For about a quarter of a century, we have been studying the Spanish language. It’s been a haphazard habit. We’ve taken college classes, studied with tutors, spent time with textbooks, CDs and tapes, read short stories by Hispanic authors, and subscribed to a monthly Spanish-language magazine. But, after all this time and all that effort, our language skills are only good enough to greet a friend, order a meal, or get directions to someplace close at hand.

Why, after all our educational effort, are we not fluent in that lovely tongue? There are probably many reasons. The two most obvious, however, are that we started our studies too late and we lapse from them too often!

The forty year old brain doesn’t grasp new knowledge as quickly as the four year old brain, or even that of a person half our age! So, we find ourselves having to go over words and phrases we thought we already knew. Verb tenses we thought we had mastered get lost again in our cerebral caverns. When we try to speak, it takes so long to recall the appropriate word that the conversation moves on to a different topic before we can find it! Advanced age is not the prime time for language learning!

The second obstacle that blocks us from fluency is lack of practice. Living in an English-speaking society, it’s hard to practice Spanish. We’ve tried to find classes or tutors but that takes time and effort. Even with each other, it’s easier to speak English because trying to recall Spanish takes too long! So, unless we are very determined and willing to take the time, we slip back into our first language and communicate in English!

At times in our studies, we’ve done immersion study in various countries. We’ve lived with a Spanish-speaking host family near a language school. We’ve tried to learn the language by using it and the culture by being in it. If we lapsed into English in our frustration, we were met with blank stares and had to try again, a la Spanish! For us, that’s the only effective way to learn: to be immersed in the language without having an English escape hatch! But, after a few weeks of this high-powered learning, we have always returned to our comfort zone in the English-speaking world!

Reflecting upon our language-learning adventures, I realize how much my growth in faith is like my Spanish struggles! I began quite early in life to learn to love God. Excellent teachers modeled – rather than told – me the path toward spiritual maturity. They are gone now, and on my own, I wander.

But, like my Spanish studies, my spiritual growth is daily delayed by my lapses from the language of the spirit back into the world of "Me, first." When gratitude and praise are replaced with "I want to do it myself!", I have again reverted to my native spiritual language – self-centeredness!

So what would immersion studies in faith be like? Life in a convent or monastery? Taking a private retreat? Or is faith immersion those crises in life from which we can no longer return to what we used to know? How and where could we learn the hopefulness of speaking in future tense? The bondage of getting stuck in the past? The encouragement of learning to speak in terms of ‘what might be’? And the freedom of resting in the Word and the Speaker?

I don’t know. But it’s clear to me that I am just as slow – and just as persistent – in spiritual study as I am in language-learning!

4/18/2008 - mshr

 

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